We have the power to help each other heal from our deepest wounds and truly come alive. It's in relationship where the wounds occurred, and it's in relationship where the healing happens. The amazing thing about how humans work is that the healing can come from someone other than the person who hurt you. Our brains and hearts register the salve. This affords each of us the opportunity to heal and be healed in the present moment, and to become free.
I'm remembering a visit with an old friend - someone I'd known for most of my life - and how I'd hoped we'd learn about who we had each become since our last visit. An opportunity arose for him to attend a workshop I was leading - to experience a part of me he didn't know, my true work and purpose, something I deeply value. I looked forward to sharing myself with him in this way. After the event, he spoke at length about his impressions of the space and the other people who were there, with nothing to say about my offering. I was surprised and a little disappointed, but realized that he needed attention as much as (or perhaps more than) I'd wanted it; and until his heart's longing for appreciation was satisfied, our connection would remain stagnate.
Over the next few days, I offered him my presence and my loving attention. After some time, his energy shifted away from getting his need for attention met. His twitchy hands settled. He relaxed into his chair. The pace of his speaking slowed. Slowly, the conversation turned from stories about himself to curiosity about my life and eventually, shared vulnerability and rich connection... and we parted with hearts full of love.
By receiving the medicine he needed, my friend was able to stop working so hard to be loved. He was able to stop trying, and could instead just be. Freed from his struggle, he relaxed into his own lovingness.
There have been many times when I too have been consciously held in a friend's container of love. I was changed, and I am forever grateful.
We can receive the healing that others offer. And as our hearts are healed, space is made in us so that we can tune in more and more easily to others.
We can give one another the missing experience that will heal old wounds. With our presence, our attention and our love, we can help our friends to reclaim their sense of worthiness. By allowing and appreciating our friends' self-expression, we can help them to feel safe and valuable. With our consistency and follow-through, we can help our friends to not feel abandoned. When we listen with our hearts and act with intention, we can help one another to become empowered, to be authentic, and to know love. We can be the medicine for one another. We can spread love and compassion from one person to the next, helping each one to stop fighting to exist, empowering every person to be who they really are, until our friends, our communities, and eventually the whole world is healed.
Are you with me?