When the World Feels Heavy

​I went down this past week.

Normally I feel content in myself and with life, and I enjoy my reality. But recently (and honestly, off and on for months), I’ve felt heavy. Despondent. Purposeless. I could sense the pull of hopelessness, like I was standing at its edge. I’m grateful I didn’t get sucked in--but where I stood wasn’t great.

I'm thinking of past newsletters I’ve sent you and blogs I've written about the power we have as creators of our realities. The power we have to shift the way we experience life. This morning, I heard my own words and asked myself: With what am I creating my experience of reality? What have I been consuming, energetically and mentally?

What we take in shapes how we are, who we become, and what we offer the world.

Last week, my boundaries around current events softened. I listened to the news in the car, let conversations linger about wars, floods, fires, injustice, greed… all of it. It’s a lot. And I was taking in more than my system can handle. I was spending more time than usual in energetic fields I *don't* align with. As a result, I've been suffering--and it's been showing up like this:
 
- Sleeping late
- Eating junk
- Slacking off on exercise
- Escaping into nightly TV

It’s all added up to a sense of dullness, heaviness and disconnection. Can you relate?

There’s a Buddhist principle I love: right consumption. To stay aligned and able to infuse life with love, we must be mindful of what we take in. That includes food, information, energy, ideas--everything we consume. If we want to live in peace, joy, love, and freedom, we need nourishment that supports those qualities.

Mindfulness shows us the moment of choice. I can pop a cookie in my mouth without thinking, or I can pause and ask:
Will this help me feel how I want to feel?
What do I most value?
Is the crash worth the high?

Right now the answer is no. My state of being is the most important thing, and I know that tending it is my strongest activism (as you've heard me say before).

I can ask the same when I reach for the news, or in conversation with others:
Is this good for my well-being?
Do I really need to know more right now?
What if I listened to some gorgeous music instead?
What if I just stepped outside?
What if I breathe with the trees, listen to the birds singing, let the morning light soften me from the outside in? What if I sit down, open my creative channel, and write to you, gazing out every so often to take in the beauty of the Cottonwoods and the river?

This is where I am today: present. Contemplative. My breath is slow. My heart is soft and I’m smiling, thinking of you while I write.

And you know what? Reality feels pretty good right now. Kinda perfect, actually.

I feel relief. And joy, and gratitude.

Here's a simple meditation to invite a calm, smooth, focused energy. May it support your inner peace, Friend. You are worth it.

I am shining infinite blessings of light into your beautiful heart.

Love,
Aowyn