When I left Portland's coffee shop culture in 2012 and moved to the outdoor rec mecca of Bend, it was hard to get used to going for a hike or a ski as a way to be with my new close friends. My attention gets split - half with the person, half with the activity - and I'm left wanting in both areas. Fast-paced movement and a lack of eye contact makes it hard for me to truly connect with another person, or to dive beneath the surface level. We definitely have fun and, since my friends are brilliant, I often come away from our outdoor play with something new to think about - but I don't get to connect deeply or receive new input and truly integrate it in the moment. For me, that requires spaciousness. Mindfulness. Presence.
When I'm in a slow space with someone I trust, I will consciously open my system to receive the input they offer. It's a choice. And it doesn't just happen; there's a technique to it, and over the years it's become my way of being. It can take friends and practitioners a while to get used to my pacing...
because there's often a big pause while I sort and integrate new input, and reorganize my inner self...
before I speak again from a new me.
This is just how I personally move through the world. Slowness and one-thing-at-a-time isn't trendy; people seem to be moving faster and multitasking more than ever. But spaciousness sure can support a person in healing and upleveling - which is why I'm here.
This is part of what happens in my experiential healing sessions. It's one of the things people appreciate most about my work - I regularly hear it's a relief to people's hearts and nervous systems to finally experience real presence, spaciousness, acceptance and lovingness. It allows you to simply be, and whatever needs tending is allowed to emerge. This part of my work evolved from my training in Hakomi and The Re-Creation of the Self Model of Human Systems.
I don't offer opinions, lessons or advice. I offer a reflection of your own truth. It's my gift to see, and to help you see - with lovingness, and without judgment - your fears, your stuckness, your unhelpful learned beliefs... and to move underneath that virtual reality, all the way to your truth (which you may not have contacted or embodied in a very long time).
I see your truth (not my truth, and not my guess at your truth), offer it into your own mindful spaciousness, and help you to experience its transformational effect as it unfolds throughout your entire being, moment by moment, body-mind-energy-spirit, while holding you in a field of light-filled resonance and loving awareness.
Clients tell me their experience is real, and it also feels like magic. I call it experiential healing.
I also call my work "shamanic healing" - and there's more that needs saying, once the word "shamanic" enters the field.
There are a lot of opinions regarding the use of the words "shaman" and "shamanic healing" by non-indigenous people, or by people who haven't worked with a mentor to become initiated into traditional ways of healing. No one taught me this part of my work; I've continually initiated myself. I do not consider myself a shaman, but over the years, when I've asked other practitioners and clients to describe my work as they experience it, they've called it "shamanic healing."
This other component of my work is the practice of working in nonordinary reality ("shamanic" or "imaginal" realms) - the other states of consciousness that are induced and explored through the use of hypnotic sound and journey work. The experiential healing I first talked about is woven into this Way. Deep in mindfulness, the human self is tended; in nonordinary reality, the soul can be contacted. This combination invites healing to occur at its root. Here, I (or one of our unseen helpers) might channel a flow of healing energy or perform a specific energetic process. When these energetic adjustments are made in tandem with your mindful inner shifts, they might have a sudden effect on you and your life - or the effect might unfold steadily over time.
My work is multifaceted and holographic. I enjoy playing with language to try to point toward what it is, but it's really something that can only be known through experience. If you ask my clients what I do, they'll usually tell you their lives have changed for the better - but as for what happens during a session, there "just aren't words to describe it."
My work isn't everyone's cup of tea. It requires openness to intuition and spirituality, curiosity about the self, and the ability and willingness to utilize mindfulness (rather than normal conversation) as a healing tool. There is no magic pill for true change; your participation is required (during and between sessions). If you're ready to invest in your quality of life, and if you want an alternative form of healing and personal growth, let's meet for a consultation and see if my offering is the right pathway for you.
You are doing such a good job. Sometimes it can be hard to see that when troubles arise. It's ok. You are on your perfect journey. You simply cannot get it wrong; there is no wrong. There is only creation.
May I remind the deepest part of you who already knows this: in this multidimensional NOW, you are currently living an infinite number of possibilities, an infinite number of lives. There's a version of you reading this right now who's saying "oh yeah, I can feel that", and a version of you who's saying "I have no idea what that means", and a version of you who's open to the possibility of realizing these words, and a version of you who has already stopped reading this - and so many other responses to what you're reading right now. With each response, you are creating a new branch of your life, a new You, who is now off living its own reality, with its own trajectory of experiences, each of which contains an infinite number of choices and possibilities, splitting off into an infinite number of You's living an infinite number of lives... right... now.
There is no right or wrong. There is only endless creation.
You are so powerful.
Until we re-member our ability to see from multiple perspectives, there's just this one lens you see your life through - the one you're reading this from right now. You'll close your device at some point and face the world from here. How will you do it, Friend? Will you see your neighbor and shame them for their choices? Will you appreciate someone, or yourself, or some thing? Will you resist whatever is next on your plate, and create an energetic weight for you to carry through the day? Will you breathe deeply, invite flow, allow ease?
This life is your creation.
It's ok to let go of fear. You do not need it to survive. You do not need to hold yourself separate from people who are different from you. Somewhere, sometime, you are believing what they believe, feeling what they feel.
It's ok to quiet down and reach your awareness into another You, one who's got the knowing you want and need in life right now. Somewhere in one of the timelines you're currently living, you've got the answers. You've already experienced everything, and you are free to receive knowing from any part of you. You can just ask. You can ask yourself for love, or for peace.
However you respond to this message, wherever you take it, I offer:
May you be open to more openness. May you see yourself and all things through the eyes of love. May you know that you are creating in every moment. May you hold every experience sacred, and with lightness, and with curiosity - every thought, feeling, sensation, belief, interaction, choice, everything. May you create with love.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
Thank you for being. Thank you for every moment of your mindfulness. Bless you. I love you.