The Presence of Grace

I cycle through attachment and non-attachment on a regular basis. I can so easily get caught in my own suffering... but less these days than ever before. I trust in the ebb and the flow of life. Used to be, when I'd feel anything less than ecstatic, I'd fret: Is this the end? Where did my happiness go? I'd search for the reasons - what did I do wrong? How can I get back to that place I love so much? And so came the parade of habits, which generally looked like judgment, criticism, and a general lack of presence.

​But for every inbreath, there is an outbreath. For every expansion, a contraction. It might take me a minute to remember this natural law, but sooner or later, I do. The trust allows me to let go my grip on the good stuff, let go my distress when the hard stuff arrives, and just be present to the wondrous experience of being human. I bow in surrender, watching the tides come and go from a place of stillness and gratitude.

​When I meditate, I see it all. I see my habits, let go my attachments, and allow myself into the spacious bliss of no-thingness. Sometimes it happens immediately, sometimes not at all, sometimes I move in and out of it until I finally settle. I love this place. It's the highest I can ever get. It's delicious and beautiful and I would like to stay here forever - in other words, I get attached to this as well - ha! Eventually I notice this attachment, and I let go, which opens me a bit more into the void, and I feel compassion. Not from my mind, not from my human heart, but from the One; it's all around me and in everything, including in me. It's everything - it touches everything, all the pieces and parts of being incarnated. 

All parts of me and everything seen, included, allowed and held in the compassionate heartfield of the infinite Divine... and so there is no need to attach, because everything is allowed to flow - which it always does, unless I grab on.
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In these moments I become my own client, entering and receiving the spaciousness I give, shepherding myself into compassion, acceptance and gratitude. It is the epitome of joy. I'm grateful to practice. Grateful to walk the talk. Grateful to be the presence of, and to be in the presence of, grace.

I'm here for you.
​I love you very much.

Aowyn