You're clearing out so much of what you don't need and what doesn't serve you, your people, or the world. You are seeing parts of yourself that have been waiting for your attention and, as time goes on, you're letting go of more and more. You are making space for love. You are becoming more truly you.
Sometimes it can feel pretty dark. Hopeless, even. Resignation can set in - as though you weren't meant for love, or satisfaction, or pleasure, or peace. Please, notice that a part of you continues to lobby on your behalf. Maybe your self-talk sounds like criticism or sarcasm... but if you get underneath the harshness, you might discover that it all comes from a place of caring, despite the distorted expression. You care about you. You want you to be aligned, happy, fulfilled, and engaged in your life creation.
There's no need to limit yourself with harsh words or false beliefs about who you are or what you're capable of. You are a creator.
Follow your longing.
Thank you for every moment of lovingness you experience. Thank you for your peace. Thank you for feeling grounded, and expansive. Thank you for your compassion. Thank you, thank you for your gratitude. Simmer in these experiences. Notice when you're feeling these truths. With a YES and a THANK YOU, let your heart and your brain know you like it here in the realm of love. Let it become your new habit, your priority.
I invite you to commit to loving yourself.
I'm so grateful you're here, now.
You are important.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
There's a feeling of "purgatory" in the air. A feeling of in-between. The density of the last two years is still softening out. And while there's a certain experience of relief, there's also the energy of boredom, restlessness, or even numbness... and a wanting and a wondering: Is it really ok to move forward? There's a push/pull of desire and resistance.
Your longing for purpose is real. It's ok if you feel like you're hovering between old and new worlds, old and new versions of yourself.
Remember, we've only just moved through the Spring Equinox. We're only just emerging from winter's cave. Your longing and restlessness is perfectly timed, in tune with natural cycles. And whether you're in a massive transition - divorce, new house, new job, new town - or courageously preparing to embody the next version of You, you are invited to let your heart know you're listening.
Thank you for honoring your impulses. Feel like cozying up under a blanket with a book? Do it. Feel a solo living room dance party coming on? Do it. Want to scream, wail, head out to the nearest junk pile and break some glass? Do it (with safety gear, please). Is a nap calling your name? Lay down. Want to be outdoors, immersed in the hallowed space that is held for you by the cacti, the trees, the rocks? Get out there. Got a creative idea brimming? Birth it. Let yourself move the energy - or let yourself rest in it, or expand with it. Every feeling, every part of you is worth tending - and it can be a bit of a mix in there, maybe especially right now. There's no need to stifle one bit of it. You are changing, finding your way into what feels really right. Honor you.
And know that honoring your impulses and desires tells your heart: I am listening. And when your heart knows you're listening, it's going to start speaking in ways you can hear. Your heart is your guide. It speaks Truth.
Patience is useful, but it doesn't mean you have to sit still. Move the energy, move with the energy, and let it burn a fire in you. It will clear the purgatory space and reveal the next part of your path.
I was recently guided to create a healing container for women called Emerge. The entrance to the container is your heart's longing to emerge from your cave. Whether you entered a cave as a result of the pandemic, or you created a cave intentionally as a fertile space of alchemical solitude, or you're just ready to fully embody the You you've been cultivating, this is an opportunity to bring yourself into the world, from where and who you are now. Emerge is an opportunity to embody your aliveness. It is a path of intention. Honoring. Healing. Integrating. Acknowledging your truth. Claiming your power. I just opened my schedule for two more of these one-on-one containers. If you feel called to Emerge, please schedule a free consultation.
You are perfectly equipped for your unique Life game. How will you play?
Sometimes you just want someone to walk your path with you. Someone who will listen with lovingness, and with presence, and with skill. Someone who will honor your experience, whatever it is. Someone who will see what you can't see, and who will support your own realization, helping you to heal what needs healing, release what needs releasing, and enhance your inherent infrastructure along the way. Someone who honors your whole self - body, mind, emotions, energy and soul.
Sometimes you just want someone who will see when you need to do a ritual around something, and who'll guide you through, as needed. Someone who will follow your intuition about what needs to be done. Someone who will be thorough, collaborating with you to find true completion. Someone whose presence creates space for integration, and celebration, and gratitude.
Someone who honors your knowing. Someone to see you, and to be with you as you fine-tune your Divine/Human experience. Someone to support your relationship with yourself.
Sometimes it can feel like you're just bouncing around inside your own head. Maybe you're confused or stuck - or maybe you're flowing, fully optimized, sovereign - and you just want someone to walk this path with you, because it feels good and right to be in a relationship where your Truth is seen and valued.
I'm here to tend in these very ways.
I didn't think I had, until a month into my sabbatical - free from my devices, tuned to nature - when I realized total stillness, peace and freedom.
Because of this natural pacing, I'm really noticing my feelings. I notice how when my attention moves to one place, it's withdrawn from another; and where I place my awareness in any moment affects my mental state, physical body, and emotions. Rather than responding quickly, I'm making new choices about when and how to engage with my life, other people and the world. This natural pacing creates a vast field of opportunity.
This is the spaciousness I offer my clients. We enter a healing relationship for a length of time, with clear focus and a natural rhythm. One session can feel profound and even life-changing - and then there's more. There's a deepening. Personal exploration unfolds naturally, for a conscious tending of your experience. The container is a place for a real honoring of you. There's time to test, in my office and in your life, whether the shifts you experience are actually integrated - and time to make adjustments, to bring about the integration you seek. There's time to assimilate and appreciate the fullness of the journey. I've been hearing from clients I saw last year about how grateful they are for the work we did together, and the ways they've changed. This is living alchemy, powerful and lasting.
The gifts from my sabbatical are evident in my life and my work with clients. I'm so very, very grateful. The integration process feels gentle and sure, sacred and spacious - a natural rhythm.
I currently have space for four more clients. If you're feeling drawn into a period of healing and personal evolution, please be in touch!
It's my most favorite and valuable supplement. Why?
The experience of seeing beauty leads to the state of love. Not the feeling of love, the state of love.
It's easy to say "Love yourself. Love others." Yes, of course those are beautiful feelings and we all want that - but it's not always easy to do it. If you're very stressed out, or you're feeling depressed, or you don't know how to come out of your cave... it's not necessarily easy to access the feeling of love.
But beauty persists. It's always available for us to witness, even in the most painful moments of life. Even in the face of trauma, you can still look at a sunrise or a sunset and witness beauty. If you stop everything for even a minute, you can just take beauty in and let it be medicine. Beauty is a magic potion; it enters through your eyes or your ears, and if you remain a witness to the beauty, and feel what it feels like to really take it in, the beauty will bloom into love.
And love... love is the highest frequency. It is the healer of all. It is the opposite of fear. It is the opposite of all things that come from fear. It is the knowing that in essence, we are connected. When we exist in the state of love, our life begins to shape itself around that consciousness, and our experience becomes what we want it to be.
So. I invite you to give it a try. Go outside, and be still for a few minutes or more. Receive beauty through your eyeballs from the trees, the sky, the land, the water. Or find a beautiful piece of music. Be still and let it enter through your ears. Relax your body, relax your breath. Let beauty become the state of love in you, and watch how your life begins to shift and change from the inside out.
This is it: The Apocalpyse. A time of total destruction - and also a time of revelation. There is so much opportunity right now for our bodies, minds and spirits. So much opportunity for self mastery and inspired health.
I've never seen anything or anyone flourish in the shadow of disgust, resentment, denial, shame, anger or hate. Not a child, a spouse, a friendship, a family relationship, a community or a country. It can feel "energizing" when you feel those things - those feelings certainly have energy, but it's trapped energy. Stuck energy. Reactive energy. Anxious energy. It loops around inside, creating blocks to flow and stopping you from evolving in the way you might want.
Those life-squashing energies all come from the personality, the surface layers of what it means to be human. But if you dive beneath all that - beneath all the "people should be like this" and "people should believe what I believe," you'll probably find something along the lines of "I care about people." Right? Funny how that caring gets all twisted and comes out in blame, shaming, division, and ultimately, your own closed heart.
If you want people (including yourself), friendships, family members, and your community to thrive; if you want them to be happy and free, open, courageous and truly alive, you have to water those beautiful human flowers and relationships with compassion. Shine love on them. Create an environment that's supportive of life and creativity. Make it a place they want to root into, a place where connection is safe and healthy and nourishing, so they can spread out and blossom their unique and perfect light into the world. Bonus: you'll receive all you give, just by letting yourself really feel it! In this experience of true caring, you make space for everyone's needs, feelings and ways of being. Everyone belongs, just as they are. There's opportunity for authentic, compassionate communication, instead of argument and disconnection. An opportunity for equality, mutual support and peaceful coexistence. How's that for a beautiful human ecosystem?
How would your friendships, your family, your community, this country, this world be different, if you committed to living this way? How would your experience of life change?
You are the flower in the center of this garden. You are essential to the web of all life. You affect everything; everything affects you.
Thank you for every conscious breath you take. Thank you for slowing down. Thank you for remembering that love is a way of being that is always available to you. It is who you are.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
Hello, Friend. I'm so glad you're here.
There's a whole lot I could talk about right now. It's kind of full on out there. It's easy to get ramped up... but that's really not my groove. Instead, I want to just slow it all down and tell you:
I LOVE YOU.
You are strong. You've done such a good job of getting here, through valleys and over mountains of feelings and experiences. Sometimes it's seemed easy, but not always. No siree - it's been damn hard sometimes, maybe even right now. Yet here you are, reading this and hanging with me here, in this very moment.
Well done, Friend. And thank you. It's good to breathe now.
How about a nice deep breath right now?
You have what it takes to know what's true for you. It's ok to take a moment and just set all the noise aside. Set aside the news, the theories, the predictions, the science, the conversations, the efforting - it'll all be there for you later, if you want it.
Just set it all aside for now. Right now while you read this, if you're willing, you can just slow down and make space inside yourself. Read slowly (for real), and make some space.
You can start to feel it near your ears, like they're opening more deeply. Like there's more space at the back of your jaw.
Please breathe now, and notice your crown - the top of your head. Go slowly. Just notice this place.
Take your time.
Now notice your root, at your tailbone.
Can you sense both places at the same time? It's good to breathe a little deeper. Just noticing the distance between these two points - crown and root.
Now notice your heart, right in the center of your chest, between the crown and the root. Nothing to do right now but breathe, and rest awareness here in the heart.
Seems like a nice thing to do right about now.
I'm curious - if you've come along with me, how are you feeling now? Check it out for yourself.
You are a blessing, Friend. Every moment of your presence is a gift of light for you, your people and this planet. Your presence is what makes it possible for you to know your truth. Not what everyone else thinks and feels - your truth. Your knowing.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I have openings for two more clients this year. If you're feeling called to work with me, book a free consultation to see if we're a good fit. If we've worked together before and you want to come back, please call or text so we can schedule.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
Here you be on planet Earth, walking among its other inhabitants. Perhaps you've birthed one, or you're married to one, or you have a friend or a teacher or a boss or a person next to you in line at the store. Here you be. And if you want to get the most out of this precious existence, you have to do the *dog shit real* work of being in human form. Yep. You do.
I'm saying this because it can be so easy to neglect the nuts and bolts, once you hop on the ascension train. Thinking that you're operating from a higher place than the people in your life can be a very subtle, tricky experience. Check it out - do you see others as spiritually inferior? Does that view of them hinder your relationships? Do you lean on visualization, prayer and intention setting at the expense of getting in there and doing the actual work of relating? Do you generalize and talk about how "people" are, or do you show up bravely, vulnerably, authentically? Do you know how to be in relationship with yourself? With others?
In my sessions, a lot happens. Some of it feels magical, otherworldly, impossible - yet true and profound. Some of it doesn't feel like magic at all; it feels dog shit real - and potent. And profound. Every piece of this is essential. It is wholeness.
So yes, please do clear and feed your chakras. Run energy. Relate with your guides. Expand consciousness. Journey to other dimensions to know your soul. See from an expansive perspective. Hop timelines. Access your multidimensional technology. Make prayers for yourself and others and the planet. Visualize and immerse yourself in the experience you want to be having. Yes, love from the Source that you are. YES, YOU ARE A CREATOR. Thank you!
AND. Every creator, every artist has a medium. There's the inspiration, the dreaming and ideas, the inner creative process... and there are the tools, the medium, the manifest reality. Your primary medium here on planet Earth, Creator, is the human form in which you live: body, thoughts, feelings, choices, words, actions. Is your manifest creation like a spilled can of paint, or is it an intentionally crafted, regularly refined, living, evolving piece of art? Have you learned how to use your tools?
Go ahead and get dog shit real.
Learn and practice actual communication skills instead of harboring resentment, feeling superior, exploding, blaming, or keeping quiet and making up stories about what's happening - your relationships will be so much more satisfying, deep and connected. Feel and allow the full range of your human feelings, instead of avoiding them; your system will clear and become like rich, fertile soil instead of being stagnate and restricted - and the true joy you long for will be that much greater. Acknowledge and be accountable for the ways you hurt yourself and others; the truth will liberate your heart. Slow way, WAY down and develop trust, presence, reverence, communication and play in bed; your sexual healing will unfold. Embrace the human form you've taken. Care for it in every way, from all aspects of your beingness. Take risks. Be courageous. This life is yours to design. You are the artist.
And if you've taken up residence outside your space suit because it's just so dense and mucky to work with... please, come back to this good Earth. Ground.
You are wanted and needed here, in your fullest expression of self.
You can have it all, Friend. You are Divine, Incarnate. Built for a life of radiance, inside and out. Rooted and soaring. Awake, expanded, connected, activated, alive. You can do it. I believe in you. I'm here to help.
I love you.
* Thank you, Carla, for the phrase dog shit real. It's perfect. Of course. *
Give-receive-give-receive really boils down to BE, and be fully, and be aware of being. I'm grateful to continually learn about and harness my divine/human technology, to be able to hone in and pursue mastery, to better serve.
I've been offering energy healing since 2004. I learned Hakomi (mindfulness-based, somatic, experiential psychotherapy) in 2012-2014, and brought that work into my practice in 2015. I also became a guide and practitioner in the shamanic realms in 2014. And now here we are in 2021. After 17 years of active service, I'm still and always deepening into the Way. I love this amazing life.
I'm here for you.
A decade ago, it was hard for me to admit that the main "tool" I used in my work was love. I spent a long time and a lot of money learning things and gaining skills - I'm always learning. I'm glad I have those methods and techniques in my toolkit, for sure... but it is still true that the most potent piece of what I offer my clients is love.
I know no better medicine.
Being in this kind of love can bring a sense of relief. It can open your heart. It can evoke love in you. It might make you cry. It can gently help reveal where and why your heart's been closed.
Being in love can be a very tender experience. You might feel exposed, truly seen for the first time. It can feel like too much... but also like the very thing you long for.
All of this is held in a field of love.
It might bring utter exhaustion - or it might energize you - if you've been holding tight to resistance or protection, and you finally surrender. It can bring feelings, when before there were none. It can make space for grief that's been held back. It can bring forgiveness. Compassion. Aliveness.
It can be deeply nourishing. Being in a field of love can help you know it's ok to be exactly as you are.
This is what clients have told me.
If you're working on some things and you want help, I'm here for you.
When I left Portland's coffee shop culture and moved to the outdoor rec mecca of Bend, it was hard to get used to going for a hike or a ski as a way to "connect" with my new friends. My attention splits, half with the person, half with the movement. It's hard to go deeper than mind activity. I know amazing people and often come away with something new to think about - but I don't get to receive new input and truly integrate it in the moment. For me, that requires spaciousness. Mindfulness. Presence.
When I'm with someone I trust, I will consciously open my system to receive the vibration they offer. It doesn't just happen; there's a technique to it. It can take friends and practitioners a while to get used to my pacing...
because there's often a big pause while I allow cellular shifts, hang out in new neural pathways, tune my chakras...
before I speak again from a new me.
Clients regularly tell me it's a relief to their hearts and nervous systems, to finally experience real presence, spaciousness and lovingness. It allows you to simply be, and to allow whatever needs tending to emerge.
I don't offer opinions, lessons or advice. What I drop into the space is a reflection of your own truth. It's my gift to see - with lovingness, without judgment - your stuckness, your unhelpful learned beliefs, and to see all the way to your truth, to voice something you may not have embodied in a very long time (or ever)... and so, it's actually YOUR TRUTH that's calling you into alignment. YOU who reminds you who you are. You who remembers.
From there, I help you to experience the transformational effect of your truth as it unfolds throughout your entire being, moment by moment, body-mind-energy-spirit, while holding you in a field of light-filled resonance and loving awareness.
People say it feels like magic. I call it experiential healing.
I'm feeling humbled by the power of this work, just thinking about it.
There are two spots available in Come Home, Woman: a life-changing series of private sessions. Schedule a consultation on the Work With Me / Come Home, Woman page to see if it's right for you.
I love you.
I dropped into full presence within an hour of being on the river. Its familiar curves welcomed us back for our annual 6-day float, just me and my beloved, no cell service, for our favorite thing: deep canyon solitude and spaciousness in which to rest in the rhythm of Us.
The first few days were cold. Cloudy. Windy. With a little rain. I shivered, splashed and goosebumpy, through the first rapid while Peter steered us downstream. He says: You're tough. I say: What do you mean? He says: You're not complaining. I say: What is there to complain about?
I hear whispers of Spirit calling me into ceremony, and I'm grateful. I am a healer, devoted to being in service... and I know that this time of my own tending is woven into the path. It's been a while since I received at this level. The riffles in my system come into view so I can see what's been stuck and needs healing. With deepest gratitude for my vulnerability, patience and trust, I use intuition and technique, moving with the soul's fascination, resting in the infinite generosity and compassion of Source. It's light work (cute, eh? Lightwork.) and finds completion easily.
Six days of childlike delight. Doglike presence. Complete relaxation. Deep sleep. A profound awareness of Earth's web. Laughter and playfulness, reverence and irreverence, curiosity and lovemaking. Stillness, slowness, and so much silence. A sacred riverprayer.
I am so grateful to be, and to be returning to my clients, renewed. Thank you, river. Thank you, life. I love you.
Every 80 to 100 days, 30 trillion of your cells will have replenished - the equivalent of a new you. Science tells us that we affect the physical with our thoughts and intentions. So... which thoughts and feelings are you using as your tools of creation?
One option is to run a program of fear. Something pops up - like Covid - and there's an opportunity to allow fear to become the lens through which you see all of life. At a certain point, the fear lessens its grip - a vaccine comes out. Everything starts to feel better... but uh-oh, what if the vaccine is harmful? Yikes! And the opportunity to operate from fear begins anew. It snowballs, collecting things like "I'm not good enough" and "I can't" and "it's too late."
Or you can delete that program. Fear is not who you are, Friend.
You are and have always been made of love. You brought Source into this human body on this planet. You are love, embodied.
Every cell in your body is affected by your thoughts and feelings - brilliant! And you have free will, which allows you to choose where you place your focus. It has never been more obvious than in this time of extremes that what you focus on becomes your reality.
You can stop running the fear program through your system. Turn your face to the sun - literally and figuratively. Let that power source, that light, fuel your beautiful heart into its natural state. Sometimes we forget we have the ability to make these shifts, but I'm here to tell you: You DO. You always have.
So breathe it in, beloved. Let love be your only creative tool. You are good enough. You can. There is only now.
I'm here to help if you need it. I love you.
* COME HOME, WOMAN is an experiential path that will support your current healing and conscious expansion. Together we'll navigate your inner world, honoring and releasing what stands in the way of your felt experience of wholeness. You are meant to live as an empowered, sovereign being - in love with yourself and with life, trusting your heart's voice and following her guidance. Early bird sign-ups are happening, and there are still six spots left - I'll be officially announcing this offering on 4/27. Click here to schedule a consultation.
Consciousness is coming online for you like doors opening to multiple new worlds you now inhabit. Sometimes it shows up in expanding pieces of awareness that work in concert, even as they hover right at the edge of your understanding. Everything is woven together perfectly. Thank you for your trust.
You might witness yourself navigating new inner territory. Perhaps you notice you're using your old tools of creation - like harboring resentment, or brushing complex feelings under the rug rather than being with them, or judging yourself or others, or resisting what you know in your heart is right. You can now heal these betrayals and fractures within yourself and with others, loving yourself as you come into alignment. You no longer need to allow dis-ease to linger. It is safe to tend and love yourself. Thank you for learning to live at these deepest levels of integrity.
It's truly called for, here in the Spring of 2021. New understandings of our current global experience are available for you to receive and integrate. It can feel like a sudden clearing of fog. It can be disorienting. It's ok. Just breathe. Feel into your heart and let it lead. You know what is right for you. It is time to cultivate and demonstrate a profound respect for autonomy - yours and others'.
You have the opportunity to embody love and compassion. You are the creator of your reality; thank you for choosing your tools of creation with care.
You are the light of pure consciousness.
And you, dear human, are loved.
Thank you, thank you for being.
Bowing deeply to your heart,
A client recently told me she just doesn't feel the spiritual connection she used to feel, and she wants it back. She had a major opening a couple years ago and found herself blasted into 5D full time. Within a year, she swung to the opposite extreme - she felt completely disconnected, her vision shrank, she couldn't hear her intuition, and she stopped caring about all the “spiritual” things she’d started doing. She moved into a painful slump, wondering what happened? Where did it all go, and how do I get it back?
Sound familiar? This is such a common experience - particularly if the catalyst for your high-speed awakening was a peak experience such as a physical healing, a sudden release of held trauma, a Kundalini awakening, or a plant medicine journey. There are countless peak experiences that can blast you farther outside your egoic self than you've ever been and give you a sublime taste of Truth that can last a long while. It's easy to become attached to that elevated state and the extrasensory perception it may induce. It's natural, over time, to return to a more planet-bound, familiar You. It's normal to wonder if you'll ever "get it back." Normal to judge or blame yourself for doing something wrong (you didn't). Normal to think you can't "be like that" unless you're in those peak experiences (you can). All completely normal and so very common.
Thing is, we aren't meant to exist in peak experiences all the time. That's why they're called "peak" experiences and not "normal" experiences. There's an ebb and flow to life. Life breathes. It has seasons of creation, manifestation, integration and rest. Cultivating trust in the ebb and flow of life is a practice. And sometimes, the practice itself becomes the experience of connection you thought you'd lost.
Peak experiences require a period of mindful integration. A therapist or a practitioner like me can help with that - someone with whom you can share your full experience, without fear of judgment. Journaling can help. Meditation can help. Making a sovereign decision to maintain your relationship with Spirit - and then actually doing it - is key. (No one's going to do it for you.)
The practice of tending the Divine within can completely change your experience of life - because life goes on after the peak experience, right? You still have to learn communication skills to create healthy relationships. Your body still gets sick, gets hurt, eventually dies. You still feel all the feelings. When you live in relationship with spirit, there's a balance and a loving acceptance that becomes a glowing through-line to all the ups and downs... and you begin to realize you're cultivating the spirituality you always wanted.
Life requires tending before and after enlightenment.
I used to hear the word "discipline" and think of being punished, or like it meant I was being made to do something I didn't want to do. Just hearing the word made me feel resentful and rebellious. At this point in life, my discipline is a combination of devotion and commitment. It feels beautiful - a shining thing. It is my devotion to a life lived with Spirit and my commitment to tending that relationship - which ultimately is a relationship with myself.
And peak experiences - yes! May I gently integrate all I'm ready to bring into the world.
And hello, flow. Inhale.
Hello, ebb. Exhale.
Hello, life. I get to chop wood, carry water again.
Yes, how perfect, thank you, I love you.
I was recently guided to create a one-on-one healing container for women called Divine Incarnate Integration. This container supports you, whether you've had a peak experience or not, to bring spirit into your life. The entrance to the container is a very real threshold. Inside: alchemy. Tending. Being. Healing. Honoring. Remembering. Awakening your spirituality, and enlisting your divine self, in service to your personal healing and evolution. I just opened my schedule for two more of these high vibration healing containers. If you want to join me here, please schedule a free consultation.
I recently had a coffee date with one of my best friends. I was sharing about something that's up for me, when I became keenly aware that she was tending my heart just right. She was still. She held me gently and truly in her gaze. She didn't interrupt, didn't try to fix anything, only offered a space of lovingness. I felt truly seen and cared for, and it brought tears to my eyes - and then to hers - as I interrupted myself to appreciate the gift of her presence. Phew, I really needed that.
There's something truly healing about being held in a space of lovingness and acceptance. We aren't always given that kind of space. Very often, listeners are judgmental or distracted, or they have an agenda for fixing something they see as being wrong - which can hinder or redirect an authentic process. If nothing else, it sure doesn't feel good when the person isn't really with you.
When we're held in loving presence, it's possible to just be. It is a field of clear, high vibration. Here, it's ok to be whoever and however you are. Here, the heart can truly be honored. Here, space is made for your experience to unfold. This is the foundation of all my work: You are welcome here.
I feel like I'm waking up from a dream.
Not because I'm moving through the wobbly weirdness of reentry after two weeks in Mexico - although there is that. It's been emotionally bumpy coming back into the familiar reality of life in Central Oregon. For sure.
But the "familiar" reality of life is different, now that I've traveled for the first time since Covid hit. My experience of reality has changed.
I chose to surrender and accept many things in order to travel by plane to another country - rather than resist or harden against them - so I could receive the gifts of the glorious sun and the comforting beach and the living ocean. Travel required a refined strengthening AND a softening, which ultimately changed my interface with reality. I reintegrated Trust at a very deep level.
This is how we create, right? We make internal shifts (mental, emotional, energetic) to affect our reality and the way we experience life.
Traveling made me break through the invisible, unintentional border I'd created between myself and Living Life. I did not know I'd created such a thing.
But it makes sense. I'd taken fear in and released it out a number of times in the past year. I'm not surprised that hints of it were tangled in my field. I'm human. It happens.
Today I feel free. My belly is soft. I feel stretched out. I feel safe. I feel nourished. I feel empowered. I feel ready. I feel excited. I feel energetically hydrated. I feel like an explorer in entirely new territory, thanks to the 2020 birth canal.
I highly recommend getting mindful to discover any borders you've created inside yourself this past year. I invite you to soften them and take a step across into your own new territory. I invite you to expand your thinking or do something that has seemed off limits but can actually be experienced while staying in personal alignment. You are powerful. You are a creator. Life is short. You are here to LIVE. And I'm available if you need support navigating these waters.
Thank you for every spacious breath you gift yourself while you see what is here. Thank you for seeing how you participate in the creation of your personal reality and our shared reality - within yourself, in your relationships, throughout this country and around the world. Thank you for forgiving yourself when you look inside and see fear, violence or hatred directed toward yourself or others. It's ok; this fear is not who you are, it's only something you inherited or learned along the way. You have the ability to heal completely and realize true freedom; you were born for it. Every part of you is perfectly designed. And since you are a microcosm of the macrocosm - and everything affects everything - I thank you for firing up your conscious participation in the complex, fascinating, miraculous creation of you and all things.
May compassion wash through every part of your being, inspiring complete healing, until you remember who you are and stand solidly in your own perfect light - free from the shackles of us-against-them, me-against-them, me-against-myself - and may that light become your one and only creative tool. May you exist peacefully, with gratitude, in the never-ending flow of pure love that you are. May love guide you in all things, for the rest of your life and every life you live. May you speak love into being.
Bless you across all space and time. Thank you for being and for doing what you came here to do.
You are so powerful, Friend.
Your power is worthy of your tending. Worthy of reverence.
I love you.
Thank you for helping to anchor love on this planet. At a time when so many, with so many differing opinions and needs, are standing against others, I thank you for standing for the light and for making that a priority. Your efforts are essential to the awakening of humanity. Thank you for your diligence. Your work to maintain a high vibration, your radiant heart, your prayers for peace, love and known oneness - in collaboration with millions of others who are doing the same - is bringing unity consciousness to balance the polarities at a time when the scales are heavy with the weight of perceived and created separation. Your work as a lightkeeper is necessary. Many people do not yet understand this, and that's ok. You are working on a different level (not higher or lower, better or worse, but different), and it is exactly what you were born into this body at this time to do. Your skills as an anchor of light are required. So thank you for going full force at this time, Friend.
Thank you for Being.
Art by Cameron Gray
Bless you and thank you, Friend, for your good work.
It's not an accident that you were born into this pivotal time in humanity. You are here to help this transition.
And there's no time like the present. Your highest potential is waiting for you in each and every moment. You can feel it. You may not always choose to move through your experience with your eyes open, but sometimes... maybe even a lot of the time, these days... you do. Friend, I will say again what you already know: the time is now. The change you wish to see is yours to activate.
Thank you for learning that judging other people is a form of self-slavery. Thank you for realizing that standing strongly against something, no matter how heinous, only gives your power to that other, and reinforces the experience of division. Thank you for instead standing for love and justice. You are invited to live as a beacon of light: a living, breathing demonstration of the thing you want for yourself and for the world. Thank you, Friend, for committing to your own freedom. Thank you for claiming your power.
Thank you for every time you show up. Thank you for feeling your feelings - and when you don't know how you feel, thanks for sticking with your experience until you do. Thank you for saying what's real for you. For being vulnerable. For being witnessed. Thank you for asking for support. Thank you for making your way here, wherever "here" is for you right now. You are courageous. Yes. You are.
Thank you for not only seeing the addictions that keep you bound, but for taking steps to cut those cords. You are not meant to give your power away to anyone or anything. You are meant for freedom and sovereignty. They are yours to claim.
Thank you for closing the laptop and turning off the phone in order to engage the living experience that is designed by your very own soul to help you wake up in every way. It may be painful, it may be lonely, it may be the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen. It may require grief, or change, or forgiveness, or acceptance. It surely requests creativity, Creator. Whatever is in your life, it's here in service to you, offering countless opportunities to acknowledge, accept, let go, feel, love yourself, align with the wisdom of your very own soul, and make a practice of devoted service to the constant creation of your brilliant, awakening human existence.
Now is the time to align with your highest potential, which will allow you to align with the highest potential in others. This is why you are here, now. One by one, we remember our internal compass and collectively turn the tides back toward Love. Harmony. Unity. Peace.
I am bowing deeply to the luminosity of your infinite soul, and to the perfectly designed human that you are. You are important.
I am shining a thousand blessings into your beautiful heart.
Hello. Just a reminder that no matter how you are in this moment, this week, this pandemic, this year, you are exactly where you are meant to be. Go ahead and zoom out for a minute. Watch the weaving of your soul through lifetimes - there are so many. So many. The one you are experiencing right now - this perspective, right here, right now reading this - is a perfect part of the tapestry of your soul. You are one perfect facet of the multifaceted jewel that you are. Your experience is exactly woven into the entire fabric - it is necessary, in order for the rest of the fabric to be.
Your main job right now is to find your steadiness. Know what keeps you grounded and awake, and do those practices. Find your joy. Know what delights you, what inspires you, what makes you laugh, and be in those experiences. Be in the sunlight, the moonlight, the starlight, the fresh air, the waters. Be with the trees, the cactus, the life that is all around you. Consider the long game, and build your inner resource. You have the tools. And if it feels like you don't have the tools (you lost your job so you can't afford the gym so you can't do your usual work out), do the best you can (jumping jacks in the living room and lifting bags of rice). Let your mind go; the Way knows the way.
I love you.
Art: Transcending Duality by Helena Arturaleza
Thank you, Friend, for all you are doing to take care of yourself.
I have a long message for you. See if you can stick with it.
Never before have we seen such worldwide upheaval. We’ve been in the thick of it since March, witnessing and experiencing varying degrees of fear, judgment, anger, blame and shame: the divisive arsenal of a reality that promotes a belief that we are separate from our inherent Truth, one another and the earth. Turn on any popular news source and you’re immediately plugged into it. Keep it on, and you’re altered by it - you can tell by how it makes you feel.
In any moment, no matter where you are - your kitchen, a park, the grocery store, right now reading this - you have the ability to access the infinite intelligence that lives in your very own heart. You, Friend, would not be here without your body. Bless you for choosing to incarnate here, now! Your miraculous body includes a heart that offers a direct line to the godself within. In your heart you have unending access to your divine Soul. Here, there is true wisdom. Here, peace. Clarity. Knowing. Resource. Guidance. Sovereignty.
So. Which intelligence are you following?
Very often we look outside ourselves for direction. We look to the media. We look to our companions. We look to religion to tell us who we are, and what our relationship is with the Divine. And while all of these external sources (including this writing) might point toward something meaningful, YOU are the angelic voice within, the guide who leads with ancient knowing. Resting awareness in your heart plugs you in to the direct experience of Truth. It is how you jump out of one reality and into another.
It’s easy to get hooked by what’s happening outside yourself. Easy to let the ego drive your experience. But it is not inevitable. You are not lost. You are not even confused, despite being led to believe you are.
You are Divine Incarnate. Your only “sin”, ever, is forgetting who you really are and losing awareness of your soul. Luckily, there are ancient tools within your reach to help you remember, and to plug your antennae into an ineffable intelligence. For example:
Right now, you can slow your pace of reading, get out of your head and take a deep breath. Are you with me? Go on, try. Why not, eh? This will only take a moment (and this newsletter is almost done). Slow everything down. Soften your jaw. Soften your eyes.
Now inhale, all the way ~ and exhale completely. Slowly, slowly. Now take your time with this: acknowledge that you are in a body.
Again: Inhale, deeply. Exhale. And with easy, natural breathing, rest awareness in your heartspace, in your chest. Bring your attention here, in your heart.
Inhale ~ and exhale. Feel your inner spaciousness. Resting awareness in your heart, breathe easy, and smile slightly.
Now say: I invite grace. Let it be.
The vast stillness of love is in you; it is you. Close your eyes and breathe, and allow the experience to bloom.
If you weren't able to be present, it's ok. There's a reason it's called a practice.
This is the shift we're making, the choice point of this momentous time. Which do you choose: fear and separation, or love and unity? What is creating you? With what are you creating?
I am not suggesting you stick your head in the sand. I am not suggesting you condone hateful behavior or harmful policies. I am not suggesting you stop feeling all your feelings. What I am suggesting is that you unplug your being from sources of fear and separation, and plug yourself into sources of love. Locate in your infinitely intelligent heart. Move from there. Can you imagine if everyone in the world did this? A healer I know once said that if all people breathed love together just once, the oceans would instantly heal.
Together we create a new way for humanity. Not by reading up on it, not by thinking about doing it, but by being it. By actively letting love guide us in every relationship and every reality we participate in. It is a choice. A practice.
When you source love, you immediately disconnect from the reality that is working hard every day to press fear into your system.
And everything changes.
Let your inner technology be known and activated.
Let consciousness be your Way.
Let discernment be your tool.
Let your heart guide.
I am sending a thousand blessings into your beautiful heart.
Revealing times, huh?
You've been collecting more and more light within your being. Thank you for being available for it. This powerful light radiates through you and from you - through and from so many, now - illuminating the darknesses within and without. We are seeing how fear and separation function in the world.
We're feeling its temptation in ourselves.
It's ok that the divisiveness happening in the world inspires your own experience of fear, anger, judgment, and other separating devices. The light you're bringing shines on it so you can see. It's ok that you feel these ways. Please be gentle with yourself. It's not who you are; it's an experience that is asking for healing. This stuff is rooted deep in us, and is now being highlighted so we can heal and clear and create anew. Thank you for witnessing yourself, and for knowing how you would rather be feeling and showing up in the world.
Vulnerability takes immense courage.
You may be experiencing conflict in your personal relationships. We are coming into a section of time when we'll feel a certain optimism, a lightness, that will enable us to exit the multilayered trances we've been in. The "unsettled" feeling of these trances is clearing; we are moving back home to ourselves so we may engage from a place of grounded, connected wisdom. There is a greater clarity growing in you that allows you to be with what recently felt like overwhelming, impossible inner/outer conflict.
But it's not a time to push in any direction. Not time to force yourself or anyone else into anything. Not time to push even your nurturing. It is time to pause, and to allow. We invite Divine Feminine patience. Please notice when you're nearing overwhelm. This is a time to pause and take care of yourself in order to stay resourced.
Patience and vision.
It only takes a moment to shift into your preferred experience. It is a shift in where you place your attention - from the chaos to the stillness, from the inner tornado to the breath, using your eyeballs to see what is literally in front of you right now: a painting, a tree, your partner, the food you're cooking. See, and breathe, and know that you are in a body. You are here, now. From this place of clarity you can smile, and breathe your heart, and feel the freedom to look compassionately on yourself and the collective while the darkness continues to be revealed.
Thank you for seeing your complexity.
Thank you for allowing your vision to expand to include what's most uncomfortable. Thank you for inviting and following a flow of healing. Thank you for using your magnificent power to magnify and expand love in you. Thank you for locating in love, and holding the darkness with that light.
With deep respect for every piece of your experience, I am shining a thousand blessings into your beautiful heart.
I am not afraid. All shall be well.
These bodies will die; they always have.
It's ok to let it all be ok. To trust. It is safe to do so.
While the world's leaders scramble to figure out a way to save us, save our money, save the way things have been, we dive beneath the surface to find our deepest roots, and we reach out to one another. We take care of each other with gentleness, and generosity, and love. We remember what it's like to truly support, and to receive true support. We connect. We remember our hearts and our gifts. We give. We receive.
We send love to the ones in denial of what's been created. We send love to the ones who reinforce the disconnect. Organically, peacefully, we emanate love. We stay out of their illusion - it's their business, and it will run its course, like all things.
It is safe to trust.
Together, we shine.
Art: New Pioneers by Mark Hansen
I see you, Friend. I see you riding the waves, navigating the seas. You're doing a great job, and I hear you. Thank you for manifesting this writing; it is a ceremony that is being designed by you, for you, and I am honored to write it in your name.
In ceremonies of healing, I call the directions and the elements to support the work. They are a part of the sacred container that generously holds and supports the healing. South/Fire's been glowing bright these past two months, showing me its gift, its way of holding, its purpose, and these days it's burning hot.
We asked for change. In ceremony, we plant the seeds of our intentions in the East. When we ask for change, things get shaken up. And here we are, all of us standing in Fire's alchemical corridor while everything, it seems, is turned upside down. We are breathing and pushing and feeling the pains of rebirth. Sometimes it feels like death - and it is. Sometimes it feels like we'll never make it through. But Friends, we are also waiting for ourselves on the other side, calling each and all of us through and forward into a new way of being.
Breathe. These are not just words you are reading. This is your job, one your Soul designed for yourself. You can do it. You are held in a powerful container of light that is right now being created for this healing.
You are still and always an active co-creator in our shared experience. This is the momentous opportunity we are being given: to intentionally birth the human collective into a shared love and reverence for all beings. Harmony within ourselves and with all beings and this planet. A felt knowing of our connectedness. Caring for all beings. YOU are the microcosm of the macrocosm: a Beloved Human Being, created by and made of our unified Source. Your energy, how you feel, what you think, what you say, and how you behave is connected to and affects everything - literally. And as a human living here and now, you have been evolutionarily gifted with exactly what you need to BE the change you have asked for, and to thereby create our new, harmonized collective reality.
Please, turn on your inner witness, the one who can see your entire experience at the same time as you're having it. Witness your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, imaginations. No one knows your inner world like you, and YOU are your best healer. Be gentle. Breathe.
With the alchemical power of Fire, we are burning through fear and the resulting illusion of separation from one another. We can heal what we can see and feel. So please, just for now, notice if you feel afraid. Allow your feelings of anxiety or uneasiness to be. It's ok. It is safe to feel and to notice your feelings. Notice what you turn to for support, and what it really does for you. Does it isolate you, or connect you? These are not just words you are reading. Really check it out. Notice how it affects your physical body. Do you tense up, harden, create physical shields of defense? Just witness it. Witness when you feel the tiny or overwhelming urge to horde, to take more for yourself than you need, leaving less for others. Notice when you poo-poo another person's feelings of fear or fragility, and how that puts a wall between you, blocking your connection. Notice when you're feeling trapped in an obsession with doomsday reports, and what that does to your nervous system. It's ok, just notice. We are doing this together. Notice which energies and information you choose to take in and cultivate as building blocks for the world you're now creating. Perhaps you withhold words of comfort because you're afraid it's not good enough. Maybe you ignore your intuition and defer to external authority. Or maybe you decide not to care, or not to help, or to look away from someone's suffering, because it's more convenient to shut down or move on. Maybe you're so hard on yourself you cannot rest. There are so many ways showing up right now for us to see the fear that's been wound into our systems. Now breathe. We are holding every part of you with love, right now. It's all perfect, Learner. Thank you, Awakening One. Breathe into the feelings. Love yourself, every bit of you. You are doing the best you can - you always have. You were taught things, and you grew from there, and you are growing from here. It's all perfect.
No judgment here, just witnessing and experiencing. So feel it all. Feel it, and scream, cry, bellow. Howl it out to the moon. It hurts when we forget who we are. Mourn. Water the seeds of change with your tears from the blessed West. Let it be processed. Hold it up for yourself to see so you can love these parts of you with blessed compassion. You are courageous, and you are healing, and you are beginning again to source your experience in love. Move it all through. It's ok that you've felt these things. It's ok that you've acted these ways. This is why you're here: to do this work, to help us all come home. Let it move. Lovingly release what's held you bound.
And if you feel shame, let this loving fire burn through that, too. If you feel remorse or regret, hold those feelings with compassion, and let them burn in the fires of transformation. We are holding this process in a circle of light. If you notice you are judging this process of change, love that part of you who separates from the possibility of healing and connection. You are welcome here. You have always done the best you could do, in every moment of your growing awareness, and you still are, right now. See yourself. Love yourself. Come clean. Come home. No explanations are necessary. All is forgiven. You are welcome here, exactly as you are.
Burn, baby, burn. Let the fire light you up. It shows you what you haven't been able to see about yourself. It shows you how you've cultivated big blocks or tiny threads of fear within your own being, how you've participated in creating the ILLUSION of separation from others and from your own true nature. We all have, and it's ok, and now is the time to actively transform. It is safe to do so, now. You belong. Just as you are.
You know in your heart how you would rather be feeling, thinking, behaving. You know what you would rather be giving, and therefore receiving. Your heart knows what love is.
You are being called, supported by the greater knowing that is YOU, to birth yourself into love. You are now called to remember the truth of our unity, the very fabric of our existence. You are being called to stand in your shining sovereignty as together we find solace and empowerment in the goodness that we are. It is time to come home, here and now, manifesting this truth by the power of North, and Earth. Let love fill every inch of your being. It is who you are.
Breathe compassion through every piece of your experience.
Just breathe into your heart. Imagine your heart in your chest, your heart chakra or your anatomical heart, and imagine it breathing. See it taking air in and expanding, then letting air out and contracting. See your heart breathing with every breath you breathe. Smile, and let the chemicals of friendliness wash through your being. And feel a positive emotion. Feel love, feel gratitude, feel appreciation. These are not just words you are reading. This is a practice of manifestation, Friend. Really feel love, gratitude, appreciation while you smile and breathe your heart. Slow down. Let the feelings expand in you; embody this love, this gratitude.
Breathe, and imagine your friends and loved ones, and send this love out to them. Slowly, slowly. Breathe.
Radiate your shining light, and imagine the people who feel challenging for you. Breathe, and shine love to those people. Compassion, compassion as we all heal our way home to the truth of our unified caring.
Breathe your heart, and smile, and feel this beautiful truth of the love that you are, and imagine it weaving through your community, connecting to all of your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors, your teachers.
Breathe it around and through your city, shining out to all the people and places and things. Breathe it out and around and through your entire state.
Expand, Friend, and radiate this love that you are so that it weaves and blooms its way through your entire country, west to east, north to south, every bit of it.
Breathe, and shine your loving truth out to this entire planet and every being on it. Shine love to the beings of the land, the water and the air. Shine your lovelight to the plants and the trees, the air, and the waters, and the Earth herself. Be with this entire planet, in the powerful, unified love that we are.
With so much gratitude, let love expand, and send these blessings to All That Is.
Thank you, Friend.
It's all perfect.
Be outside. Breathe fresh air. The natural world has never felt so alive, so generous, so supportive. You are now and always held with love and compassion; it is who you are.
I am shining a thousand blessings into your beautiful heart. Bless you, and thank you for your tending.
Bowing in divine recognition,
Image by Kuba Ambrose and Vera Atlantia