Working with Judgment

Judgment. Ooh, that sticky monster and master of separation. I've been on both ends of it - the doing and the receiving. I get it. There's nothing like judging someone to help us stuff our insecurities about who we are. Nothing works like judgment to help us feel superior when we feel challenged, uneasy or afraid. Nothing like judging someone in order to maintain control, to squash our fear of what's unfamiliar. No better way to skip over our own uncomfortable feelings, or avoid looking at the parts of ourselves we're not so proud of.

The interesting thing about judgment is that not only does it shut out the one you judge... it harms you, as well. It shuts down your own heart. Puts a thorn in it. Makes your body tense, your breathing tight. It stops you from feeling love.

Another interesting thing is that, as a divine creator (yes you are), you are indeed drawing into your life exactly the people and situations you uniquely require to heal those painful feelings and return to love. You brought those triggering people into your life in order to see what needs healing in you, and to liberate your heart. You called them in to help you awaken to the truth of who you are - to help you practice loving, until love is all there is.

I want to share a tool with you. These are words channeled from Jeshua ben Joseph (Jesus) through the Shanti Christo Foundation (I'm not a Christian, and I'm not religious, but I sure do love and appreciate Jesus). Check this out: 

I judge you not.
I extend forgiveness to myself for what I have created.
I embrace you, and I love you.
I free you to be yourself.
I bless you with the blessing of Christ.

• "I judge you not." It sounds old-timey - biblical, even - but I'm hard pressed to find a better phrase to communicate its import. "I don't judge you" is thrown around like confetti, but this way has some weight: I judge you not.
• You are only responsible for yourself and your experience. And you're learning as you go. So this: "I extend forgiveness to myself for what I have created." Ego hears that and tightens up, crosses its arms, frowns and says, "Hey, I didn't do anything wrong! I'm entitled to my opinion!" But love says: I forgive myself for creating this experience of judgment within myself. I forgive myself for dishonoring another human being. I forgive myself for creating separation between me and another. I forgive myself for shutting down. I forgive myself for harming myself and my heart in this way. I'm learning. In this very moment, I am learning. I extend forgiveness to myself for what I have created.
• "I embrace you, and I love you." Love is not friendship or even marriage. It is not gifts given and received. It does not require you even to keep someone in your life. Love is bigger than that. It holds everything. Everything! Every bit of hurt and harm done, every aspect of grief, every moment of shame, every regret, every behavior - it even holds every experience of wrestling with judgment! Love holds every learning, every newfound way of honoring, every courageous, vulnerable word. Every realization, every moment of gratitude - all are held in a field of love, until every piece is healed and returned home to the truth of the love that you are. Imagine that! Love Is. And it is here for you - every piece of who you are, every piece of your experience. So this is the new creation: I embrace you, and I love you.
• And then this piece of gold: "I free you to be yourself." When that person triggers you - when they do that very thing you just know they should be doing differently: "I free you to be yourself." They get to be how they are. There's nothing for you to do about it. Let them go. Let them be. It's so different from "Do what you want, I don't care." Here, you let them be free - free! - and you are then free to just do you, to contemplate your feelings, your learning, your healing. This, I think, is the piece that truly delivers us from evil: I free you to be yourself. Such relief. You do you. Just that. What was it Ghandi said? Oh yes, be the change you wish to see in the world. I am only in charge of me, and I am learning to choose love. I free you to be yourself.
• "I bless you with the blessing of Christ." It doesn't matter who you are; this blessing of Christ is yours to give. It comes from our divine unity, the ocean of awareness we were all birthed from into these human bodies. The infinite field that holds every bit of everything. It is your truth, your home, your source. This blessing is for everyone, including you, to give and to receive. I bless you with the blessing of Christ.

Please, breathe. If you know you've been judging someone, bring them into your awareness, and with mindfulness, let these words wash through every bit of it:

I judge you not. I extend forgiveness to myself for what I have created. I embrace you, and I love you. I free you to be yourself. I bless you with the blessing of Christ.

Go on. Try it. You got this. Thank you.

Love,
Aowyn