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remember who you are

Showing Up In Times of Crisis

6/20/2016

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This post feels so pertinent and so important that I'm just going to be quick with the delivery:
​When your friends are in crisis, SHOW UP. 

People are moving through big transitions right now. I've witnessed job loss, marriage failure, death of loved ones, and home relocation all in the space of about three weeks. This Fire Monkey year continues to stir things up, enabling us to get clear and get real and activate the life changes that inevitably empower us. But the transitions aren't always fun. Sometimes they're incredibly painful - sometimes they are what we call "crisis." It's hard and it hurts and sometimes it rocks our world so intensely that we don't even know how to ask for support. When you know someone is being put through the ringer (no matter how good the outcome looks), it's important to be a real friend and show up.
Just be there. 
Your friend's dad dies? Show up. Bring food. Be of service.
Your good friends are having relationship problems? Show up. Send each of them a text telling them you love them.
Your brother's dog goes missing? Show up. Help with the search.
Your niece is physically abused by her boyfriend? Show up. Make sure she is safe. ​
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​We all need love, support, and caring.
​
​We all need to know that we are not alone, especially when big stuff happens.

Reaching out or not is the kind of thing that can make or break a friendship. For the ones suffering, it can feel revealing
 of who their real friends are. It's that big.
And so, my advice is this: when someone you love has something major happen in their life, CALL THEM. Let them know that you care by leaving a message specifically saying you know they are hurting and you love them. Don't expect anything from them. Don't try to solve their problems. Don't burden them with yours. And unless they invite your help, don't try to be their counselor. Just offer your love. Don't let your friends navigate crisis in isolation.
For your sake, for their sake, and for the sake of your relationship, please, show up.

My friends, I am saying prayers for you. May you have the strength to show up for your people, and may you know in your heart and by the actions of your friends and family that you are never alone.

Peace.
​Aowyn
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