Some Words About How I Work
When I left Portland's coffee shop culture in 2012 and moved to the outdoor rec mecca of Bend, it was hard to get used to going for a hike or a ski as a way to be with my new close friends. My attention gets split - half with the person, half with the activity - and I'm left wanting in both areas. Fast-paced movement and a lack of eye contact makes it hard for me to truly connect with another person, or to dive beneath the surface level. We definitely have fun and, since my friends are brilliant, I often come away from our outdoor play with something new to think about - but I don't get to connect deeply or receive new input and truly integrate it in the moment. For me, that requires spaciousness. Mindfulness. Presence.
When I'm in a slow space with someone I trust, I will consciously open my system to receive the input they offer. It's a choice. And it doesn't just happen; there's a technique to it, and over the years it's become my way of being. It can take friends and practitioners a while to get used to my pacing...
because there's often a big pause while I sort and integrate new input, and reorganize my inner self...
before I speak again from a new me.
This is just how I personally move through the world. Slowness and one-thing-at-a-time isn't trendy; people seem to be moving faster and multitasking more than ever. But spaciousness sure can support a person in healing and upleveling - which is why I'm here.
This is part of what happens in my experiential healing sessions. It's one of the things people appreciate most about my work - I regularly hear it's a relief to people's hearts and nervous systems to finally experience real presence, spaciousness, acceptance and lovingness. It allows you to simply be, and whatever needs tending is allowed to emerge. This part of my work evolved from my training in Hakomi and The Re-Creation of the Self Model of Human Systems.
I don't offer opinions, lessons or advice. I offer a reflection of your own truth. It's my gift to see, and to help you see - with lovingness, and without judgment - your fears, your stuckness, your unhelpful learned beliefs... and to move underneath that virtual reality, all the way to your truth (which you may not have contacted or embodied in a very long time).
I see your truth (not my truth, and not my guess at your truth), offer it into your own mindful spaciousness, and help you to experience its transformational effect as it unfolds throughout your entire being, moment by moment, body-mind-energy-spirit, while holding you in a field of light-filled resonance and loving awareness.
Clients tell me their experience is real, and it also feels like magic. I call it experiential healing.
I also call my work "shamanic healing" - and there's more that needs saying, once the word "shamanic" enters the field.
There are a lot of opinions regarding the use of the words "shaman" and "shamanic healing" by non-indigenous people, or by people who haven't worked with a mentor to become initiated into traditional ways of healing. No one taught me this part of my work; I've continually initiated myself. I do not consider myself a shaman, but over the years, when I've asked other practitioners and clients to describe my work as they experience it, they've called it "shamanic healing."
This other component of my work is the practice of working in nonordinary reality ("shamanic" or "imaginal" realms) - the other states of consciousness that are induced and explored through the use of hypnotic sound and journey work. The experiential healing I first talked about is woven into this Way. Deep in mindfulness, the human self is tended; in nonordinary reality, the soul can be contacted. This combination invites healing to occur at its root. Here, I (or one of our unseen helpers) might channel a flow of healing energy or perform a specific energetic process. When these energetic adjustments are made in tandem with your mindful inner shifts, they might have a sudden effect on you and your life - or the effect might unfold steadily over time.
My work is multifaceted and holographic. I enjoy playing with language to try to point toward what it is, but it's really something that can only be known through experience. If you ask my clients what I do, they'll usually tell you their lives have changed for the better - but as for what happens during a session, there "just aren't words to describe it."
My work isn't everyone's cup of tea. It requires openness to intuition and spirituality, curiosity about the self, and the ability and willingness to utilize mindfulness (rather than normal conversation) as a healing tool. There is no magic pill for true change; your participation is required (during and between sessions). If you're ready to invest in your quality of life, and if you want an alternative form of healing and personal growth, let's meet for a consultation and see if my offering is the right pathway for you.
You Can Only Get It Right
You are doing such a good job. Sometimes it can be hard to see that when troubles arise. It's ok. You are on your perfect journey. You simply cannot get it wrong; there is no wrong. There is only creation.
May I remind the deepest part of you who already knows this: in this multidimensional NOW, you are currently living an infinite number of possibilities, an infinite number of lives. There's a version of you reading this right now who's saying "oh yeah, I can feel that", and a version of you who's saying "I have no idea what that means", and a version of you who's open to the possibility of realizing these words, and a version of you who has already stopped reading this - and so many other responses to what you're reading right now. With each response, you are creating a new branch of your life, a new You, who is now off living its own reality, with its own trajectory of experiences, each of which contains an infinite number of choices and possibilities, splitting off into an infinite number of You's living an infinite number of lives... right... now.
There is no right or wrong. There is only endless creation.
You are so powerful.
Until we re-member our ability to see from multiple perspectives, there's just this one lens you see your life through - the one you're reading this from right now. You'll close your device at some point and face the world from here. How will you do it, Friend? Will you see your neighbor and shame them for their choices? Will you appreciate someone, or yourself, or some thing? Will you resist whatever is next on your plate, and create an energetic weight for you to carry through the day? Will you breathe deeply, invite flow, allow ease?
This life is your creation.
It's ok to let go of fear. You do not need it to survive. You do not need to hold yourself separate from people who are different from you. Somewhere, sometime, you are believing what they believe, feeling what they feel.
It's ok to quiet down and reach your awareness into another You, one who's got the knowing you want and need in life right now. Somewhere in one of the timelines you're currently living, you've got the answers. You've already experienced everything, and you are free to receive knowing from any part of you. You can just ask. You can ask yourself for love, or for peace.
However you respond to this message, wherever you take it, I offer:
May you be open to more openness. May you see yourself and all things through the eyes of love. May you know that you are creating in every moment. May you hold every experience sacred, and with lightness, and with curiosity - every thought, feeling, sensation, belief, interaction, choice, everything. May you create with love.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
Thank you for being. Thank you for every moment of your mindfulness. Bless you. I love you.
The Presence of Grace
I cycle through attachment and non-attachment on a regular basis. I can so easily get caught in my own suffering... but less these days than ever before. I trust in the ebb and the flow of life. Used to be, when I'd feel anything less than ecstatic, I'd fret: Is this the end? Where did my happiness go? I'd search for the reasons - what did I do wrong? How can I get back to that place I love so much? And so came the parade of habits, which generally looked like judgment, criticism, and a general lack of presence.
But for every inbreath, there is an outbreath. For every expansion, a contraction. It might take me a minute to remember this natural law, but sooner or later, I do. The trust allows me to let go my grip on the good stuff, let go my distress when the hard stuff arrives, and just be present to the wondrous experience of being human. I bow in surrender, watching the tides come and go from a place of stillness and gratitude.
All parts of me and everything seen, included, allowed and held in the compassionate heartfield of the infinite Divine... and so there is no need to attach, because everything is allowed to flow - which it always does, unless I grab on.
In these moments I become my own client, entering and receiving the spaciousness I give, shepherding myself into compassion, acceptance and gratitude. It is the epitome of joy. I'm grateful to practice. Grateful to walk the talk. Grateful to be the presence of, and to be in the presence of, grace.
I'm here for you.
I love you very much.
On this day and in the days to come:
May you live the life you want to be living. May you be fully aligned. May you cultivate healthy, loving relationships, and may you reside in the physical and psychic environments that help you thrive. May you be safe, satisfied, healthy, strong, and nourished in every way.
May your mind be clear and open. May your heart be clear and open. May you be free from inner noise, free from inner struggle, free from nostalgia, free from jealousy, free from bitterness, free from victimhood, free from superiority, inferiority and insecurity. May fear leave you completely.
May you be free.
May you be present.
May you know and enjoy the experience of devotion and commitment, discipline and consistency. I wish you good luck, good fortune and grounded, intuitive decision-making.
May you be completely healed. May you accept and welcome each layer of the journey. I pray for your ability to accept, to forgive, to let go, and to be present. May you be free.
May you recognize, accept and appreciate your superpowers. May you honor your skills, and may you recognize yourself as a creator. May you bow at the altar of your heart.
May you be fully hydrated, fully nourished, and well rested.
May your body be at peace. May you take care of your body with love and appreciation for its miraculous service, and may you age with a welcoming grace, acceptance and delight.
May you know your heart is always speaking to you. May you hear its voice, whether the call is a howl, a melody or a whisper. May you listen to your heart. May you let your heart lead. May your mind be in creative service to your heart in all things.
May you know without question that you belong, and that you are perfect exactly as you are.
May you love yourself.
May you be empowered physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically, relationally and financially to make the changes you wish to make in your life, in service to your happiness and wellbeing.
May every door open in your mind, your heart, and your entire life, to support your surrender into a powerful, conscious flow toward your highest and brightest creations; and may your gratitude be a seed of light that radiates from your heart, to land and blossom in the hearts of everyone in your life, and everyone in their lives, and on and on.
Play. Be well. Enjoy.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
It's Ok to Lighten Up. Please do!
If you're wanting to change something about yourself or the way you experience life, you can go about it in a variety of ways.
You can keep it always at the forefront of your mind. You can hold it with a tight grip, a constant focus. You can work hard. You can experience it as heaviness, a burden or a "have to." You can be angry or disappointed in yourself along the way. You can criticize you. You can try to "fix" yourself. You can let it be all-encompassing in a way that feels boxed in.
Or you can hold your process gently. You can approach yourself and your growth with curiosity. You can witness yourself - and all the things you think and do and feel and believe - with acceptance, knowing that this is a journey. You can be spacious and intentional. You can experiment with new thoughts, new words, new input to your system, and watch the effects.
You can remember that there's nothing to fix, only an experience to have and to create along the way.
You can let your growth process be in your awareness and, at the same time, experiment with how and when and how much and in what way you focus your attention and your effort.
You can take breaks. You can lighten up.
It's ok to play. Please do play! My guess is that the whole reason you're interested in changing something about yourself or the way you experience life, is in part because you want to enjoy being. So please, do. You are invited to enjoy life, even when you're in a growth process.
Only you know when "enjoying life" becomes neglecting what is important to you, in terms of your healing and evolution. You'll know it's neglect by how you feel. It's ok if you hit that point. You can notice it, and adjust to what feels right. Notice that you care about you - you wouldn't be feeling these things if you didn't. Tune into the caring. You care about you and your experience. Let that guide you back into balance - a balance of play and work, spaciousness and tending. Holding it all with curiosity. You'll know it's balanced by how you feel.
This is your unique, precious life. You are evolving, always. You get to choose how you do it.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
It's been a mix this past week, huh? Will be for a while longer.
Waves of irritability, anger, frustration and impatience are swirling. You might feel short tempered or foggy - or speechless, but about to burst. Best thing to do is take some space. Breathe. Retreat and regroup. Slow it all down.
If you've already put your foot in your mouth, it's ok. Repair is possible. Just breathe...
... because the other piece to this phase is a profound sense of peace, clarity and stillness. An inner refinement. An expansion of your skill set.
Let the wild mix of thoughts and emotions be in your cauldron. Look at it. What's old and outdated? What story are you telling yourself about yourself that just isn't true? What feels unfamiliar, like it belongs to someone else or doesn't fit with your personal chemistry? What are you doing/saying/thinking that's actually stopping you from being the You you want to be? How are you limiting your life experience? Are you blaming others for your experience? How are you harming yourself or others with your thoughts, words or behavior? What can you let go of right now?
It's all energy. Your thoughts are energy. Your emotions are energy. Your body itself is energy. And you are a powerful creator (so much more powerful than you know right now!). You are able to release toxic energy. It's much easier than you might think. Create an opening at the crown or the root. Let it be a place of release. Make a request of your DNA (or your Spirit, or your heart) for a detox of mental/emotional/physical poison - in a way that is viable and comfortable, and in a way that does no harm to any other being. Thank you.
This is a time of transformation and creation. Use your mindfulness. Take space. Be gentle.
***Practice the new.***
You got this.
Already Whole: The Felt Experience
You don't have to try so hard.
I know it's easy to look outside yourself - to read the books and listen to the podcasts and take the courses - all with the notion that you should be "getting somewhere" or achieving something, some kind of higher ground or enlightened state. Sometimes there's so much reaching that it feels like you can't keep up, like you're trying to run up a slippery hill... and the information just doesn't seem to sink in. Like you understand it, but you don't actually experience the healing or upleveling happening in yourself. It's exhausting. It promotes the feeling of "not enough."
All that trying can really restrict your body, your breath - even your thinking gets tight.
But you don't have to do any of that.
You can just sit still. You already have all that you're reaching for. It's ok to just settle in and let it be. Let yourself be. The clarity you seek exists within you, and you can experience it if you only let go the trying. And from here? From this spacious place? YOUR truth is revealed.
There's no need to go outside yourself to find it. You ARE it. Always have been.
The reason people have success when they come see me is because my work is experiential. What that means is that I'm here to help you experience the state of being you're longing for. We'll talk about what's up for you, but I'm not going to give advice. I'm here to steer you toward actually having the experience inside yourself that you want to be having. So rather than anxiety, peace. Rather than tension, calm. Rather than doubt, knowing. Rather than judgment, acceptance. Rather than fear, love. Along the way, there may be healing that needs to happen - or detachment, or expression, or forgiveness, or grieving. Maybe boundaries need to be created. Or maybe you are longing to be truly seen, and being seen is what allows the shift.
Along with that, I deliver energy medicine that helps you to release the energetic patterns of stuckness that held you in the unwanted experiences.
Often my clients feel like I'm working some kind of magic on them, but really I'm just guiding them into a felt experience of their own true selves - and helping them practice being there, so it can become a way of being. I help weed out what's not serving you, and shepherd your awareness toward the You you want to be (and already are, even if you can't feel it right now).
You are already whole.
There is no magic pill. You can have a profound experience with another human, with a healer, with plant medicines, but the lasting change you seek requires your participation. You are the most powerful person in the room, always, in terms of your inner experience. Once you begin to play with this truth - to actively participate in the change you want for yourself - you can heal. You can be happy. You can know peace. You can love yourself. You can love others. You can receive love - really receive it. You can let beauty fall on your eyes in such a way that your heart is forever softened. This is who you are.
If you feel a longing for this clarity, please be in touch. I'm available now for consultations to begin our work together in mid-September.
Free to Be
Today I'm remembering this perfect day on the Baja peninsula last January. I'm so grateful for my freedom to be.
I remember myself 20 years ago, when I was still uncomfortable moving my body or speaking in public. I did it, mind you, but with a painfully heightened awareness of myself and of being watched. I couldn't truly drop into my own experience. Even playing my car stereo loudly made me feel like I was on stage before a panel of judges! I was hyper aware of myself - I was self-conscious. An interesting phrase, self-conscious. It feels small. Tight. Restrictive.
You're clearing out so much of what you don't need and what doesn't serve you, your people, or the world. You are seeing parts of yourself that have been waiting for your attention and, as time goes on, you're letting go of more and more. You are making space for love. You are becoming more truly you.
Sometimes it can feel pretty dark. Hopeless, even. Resignation can set in - as though you weren't meant for love, or satisfaction, or pleasure, or peace. Please, notice that a part of you continues to lobby on your behalf. Maybe your self-talk sounds like criticism or sarcasm... but if you get underneath the harshness, you might discover that it all comes from a place of caring, despite the distorted expression. You care about you. You want you to be aligned, happy, fulfilled, and engaged in your life creation.
There's no need to limit yourself with harsh words or false beliefs about who you are or what you're capable of. You are a creator.
Follow your longing.
Thank you for every moment of lovingness you experience. Thank you for your peace. Thank you for feeling grounded, and expansive. Thank you for your compassion. Thank you, thank you for your gratitude. Simmer in these experiences. Notice when you're feeling these truths. With a YES and a THANK YOU, let your heart and your brain know you like it here in the realm of love. Let it become your new habit, your priority.
I invite you to commit to loving yourself.
I'm so grateful you're here, now.
You are important.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
There's a feeling of "purgatory" in the air. A feeling of in-between. The density of the last two years is still softening out. And while there's a certain experience of relief, there's also the energy of boredom, restlessness, or even numbness... and a wanting and a wondering: Is it really ok to move forward? There's a push/pull of desire and resistance.
Your longing for purpose is real. It's ok if you feel like you're hovering between old and new worlds, old and new versions of yourself.
Remember, we've only just moved through the Spring Equinox. We're only just emerging from winter's cave. Your longing and restlessness is perfectly timed, in tune with natural cycles. And whether you're in a massive transition - divorce, new house, new job, new town - or courageously preparing to embody the next version of You, you are invited to let your heart know you're listening.
Thank you for honoring your impulses. Feel like cozying up under a blanket with a book? Do it. Feel a solo living room dance party coming on? Do it. Want to scream, wail, head out to the nearest junk pile and break some glass? Do it (with safety gear, please). Is a nap calling your name? Lay down. Want to be outdoors, immersed in the hallowed space that is held for you by the cacti, the trees, the rocks? Get out there. Got a creative idea brimming? Birth it. Let yourself move the energy - or let yourself rest in it, or expand with it. Every feeling, every part of you is worth tending - and it can be a bit of a mix in there, maybe especially right now. There's no need to stifle one bit of it. You are changing, finding your way into what feels really right. Honor you.
And know that honoring your impulses and desires tells your heart: I am listening. And when your heart knows you're listening, it's going to start speaking in ways you can hear. Your heart is your guide. It speaks Truth.
Patience is useful, but it doesn't mean you have to sit still. Move the energy, move with the energy, and let it burn a fire in you. It will clear the purgatory space and reveal the next part of your path.
I was recently guided to create a healing container for women called Emerge. The entrance to the container is your heart's longing to emerge from your cave. Whether you entered a cave as a result of the pandemic, or you created a cave intentionally as a fertile space of alchemical solitude, or you're just ready to fully embody the You you've been cultivating, this is an opportunity to bring yourself into the world, from where and who you are now. Emerge is an opportunity to embody your aliveness. It is a path of intention. Honoring. Healing. Integrating. Acknowledging your truth. Claiming your power. I just opened my schedule for two more of these one-on-one containers. If you feel called to Emerge, please schedule a free consultation.
You are perfectly equipped for your unique Life game. How will you play?
A Healing Relationship
Sometimes you just want someone to walk your path with you. Someone who will listen with lovingness, and with presence, and with skill. Someone who will honor your experience, whatever it is. Someone who will see what you can't see, and who will support your own realization, helping you to heal what needs healing, release what needs releasing, and enhance your inherent infrastructure along the way. Someone who honors your whole self - body, mind, emotions, energy and soul.
Sometimes you just want someone who will see when you need to do a ritual around something, and who'll guide you through, as needed. Someone who will follow your intuition about what needs to be done. Someone who will be thorough, collaborating with you to find true completion. Someone whose presence creates space for integration, and celebration, and gratitude.
Someone who honors your knowing. Someone to see you, and to be with you as you fine-tune your Divine/Human experience. Someone to support your relationship with yourself.
Sometimes it can feel like you're just bouncing around inside your own head. Maybe you're confused or stuck - or maybe you're flowing, fully optimized, sovereign - and you just want someone to walk this path with you, because it feels good and right to be in a relationship where your Truth is seen and valued.
I'm here to tend in these very ways.
A Natural Pace
I didn't think I had, until a month into my sabbatical - free from my devices, tuned to nature - when I realized total stillness, peace and freedom.
Because of this natural pacing, I'm really noticing my feelings. I notice how when my attention moves to one place, it's withdrawn from another; and where I place my awareness in any moment affects my mental state, physical body, and emotions. Rather than responding quickly, I'm making new choices about when and how to engage with my life, other people and the world. This natural pacing creates a vast field of opportunity.
This is the spaciousness I offer my clients. We enter a healing relationship for a length of time, with clear focus and a natural rhythm. One session can feel profound and even life-changing - and then there's more. There's a deepening. Personal exploration unfolds naturally, for a conscious tending of your experience. The container is a place for a real honoring of you. There's time to test, in my office and in your life, whether the shifts you experience are actually integrated - and time to make adjustments, to bring about the integration you seek. There's time to assimilate and appreciate the fullness of the journey. I've been hearing from clients I saw last year about how grateful they are for the work we did together, and the ways they've changed. This is living alchemy, powerful and lasting.
The gifts from my sabbatical are evident in my life and my work with clients. I'm so very, very grateful. The integration process feels gentle and sure, sacred and spacious - a natural rhythm.
I currently have space for four more clients. If you're feeling drawn into a period of healing and personal evolution, please be in touch!
It's my most favorite and valuable supplement. Why?
The experience of seeing beauty leads to the state of love. Not the feeling of love, the state of love.
It's easy to say "Love yourself. Love others." Yes, of course those are beautiful feelings and we all want that - but it's not always easy to do it. If you're very stressed out, or you're feeling depressed, or you don't know how to come out of your cave... it's not necessarily easy to access the feeling of love.
But beauty persists. It's always available for us to witness, even in the most painful moments of life. Even in the face of trauma, you can still look at a sunrise or a sunset and witness beauty. If you stop everything for even a minute, you can just take beauty in and let it be medicine. Beauty is a magic potion; it enters through your eyes or your ears, and if you remain a witness to the beauty, and feel what it feels like to really take it in, the beauty will bloom into love.
And love... love is the highest frequency. It is the healer of all. It is the opposite of fear. It is the opposite of all things that come from fear. It is the knowing that in essence, we are connected. When we exist in the state of love, our life begins to shape itself around that consciousness, and our experience becomes what we want it to be.
So. I invite you to give it a try. Go outside, and be still for a few minutes or more. Receive beauty through your eyeballs from the trees, the sky, the land, the water. Or find a beautiful piece of music. Be still and let it enter through your ears. Relax your body, relax your breath. Let beauty become the state of love in you, and watch how your life begins to shift and change from the inside out.
This is it: The Apocalpyse. A time of total destruction - and also a time of revelation. There is so much opportunity right now for our bodies, minds and spirits. So much opportunity for self mastery and inspired health.
I've never seen anything or anyone flourish in the shadow of disgust, resentment, denial, shame, anger or hate. Not a child, a spouse, a friendship, a family relationship, a community or a country. It can feel "energizing" when you feel those things - those feelings certainly have energy, but it's trapped energy. Stuck energy. Reactive energy. Anxious energy. It loops around inside, creating blocks to flow and stopping you from evolving in the way you might want.
Those life-squashing energies all come from the personality, the surface layers of what it means to be human. But if you dive beneath all that - beneath all the "people should be like this" and "people should believe what I believe," you'll probably find something along the lines of "I care about people." Right? Funny how that caring gets all twisted and comes out in blame, shaming, division, and ultimately, your own closed heart.
If you want people (including yourself), friendships, family members, and your community to thrive; if you want them to be happy and free, open, courageous and truly alive, you have to water those beautiful human flowers and relationships with compassion. Shine love on them. Create an environment that's supportive of life and creativity. Make it a place they want to root into, a place where connection is safe and healthy and nourishing, so they can spread out and blossom their unique and perfect light into the world. Bonus: you'll receive all you give, just by letting yourself really feel it! In this experience of true caring, you make space for everyone's needs, feelings and ways of being. Everyone belongs, just as they are. There's opportunity for authentic, compassionate communication, instead of argument and disconnection. An opportunity for equality, mutual support and peaceful coexistence. How's that for a beautiful human ecosystem?
How would your friendships, your family, your community, this country, this world be different, if you committed to living this way? How would your experience of life change?
You are the flower in the center of this garden. You are essential to the web of all life. You affect everything; everything affects you.
Thank you for every conscious breath you take. Thank you for slowing down. Thank you for remembering that love is a way of being that is always available to you. It is who you are.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
Right Here. Right Now.
Hello, Friend. I'm so glad you're here.
There's a whole lot I could talk about right now. It's kind of full on out there. It's easy to get ramped up... but that's really not my groove. Instead, I want to just slow it all down and tell you:
I LOVE YOU.
You are strong. You've done such a good job of getting here, through valleys and over mountains of feelings and experiences. Sometimes it's seemed easy, but not always. No siree - it's been damn hard sometimes, maybe even right now. Yet here you are, reading this and hanging with me here, in this very moment.
Well done, Friend. And thank you. It's good to breathe now.
How about a nice deep breath right now?
You have what it takes to know what's true for you. It's ok to take a moment and just set all the noise aside. Set aside the news, the theories, the predictions, the science, the conversations, the efforting - it'll all be there for you later, if you want it.
Just set it all aside for now. Right now while you read this, if you're willing, you can just slow down and make space inside yourself. Read slowly (for real), and make some space.
You can start to feel it near your ears, like they're opening more deeply. Like there's more space at the back of your jaw.
Please breathe now, and notice your crown - the top of your head. Go slowly. Just notice this place.
Take your time.
Now notice your root, at your tailbone.
Can you sense both places at the same time? It's good to breathe a little deeper. Just noticing the distance between these two points - crown and root.
Now notice your heart, right in the center of your chest, between the crown and the root. Nothing to do right now but breathe, and rest awareness here in the heart.
Seems like a nice thing to do right about now.
I'm curious - if you've come along with me, how are you feeling now? Check it out for yourself.
You are a blessing, Friend. Every moment of your presence is a gift of light for you, your people and this planet. Your presence is what makes it possible for you to know your truth. Not what everyone else thinks and feels - your truth. Your knowing.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I have openings for two more clients this year. If you're feeling called to work with me, book a free consultation to see if we're a good fit. If we've worked together before and you want to come back, please call or text so we can schedule.
I am shining a thousand blessings of light into your beautiful heart.
Get Dog Shit Real
Here you be on planet Earth, walking among its other inhabitants. Perhaps you've birthed one, or you're married to one, or you have a friend or a teacher or a boss or a person next to you in line at the store. Here you be. And if you want to get the most out of this precious existence, you have to do the *dog shit real* work of being in human form. Yep. You do.
I'm saying this because it can be so easy to neglect the nuts and bolts, once you hop on the ascension train. Thinking that you're operating from a higher place than the people in your life can be a very subtle, tricky experience. Check it out - do you see others as spiritually inferior? Does that view of them hinder your relationships? Do you lean on visualization, prayer and intention setting at the expense of getting in there and doing the actual work of relating? Do you generalize and talk about how "people" are, or do you show up bravely, vulnerably, authentically? Do you know how to be in relationship with yourself? With others?
In my sessions, a lot happens. Some of it feels magical, otherworldly, impossible - yet true and profound. Some of it doesn't feel like magic at all; it feels dog shit real - and potent. And profound. Every piece of this is essential. It is wholeness.
So yes, please do clear and feed your chakras. Run energy. Relate with your guides. Expand consciousness. Journey to other dimensions to know your soul. See from an expansive perspective. Hop timelines. Access your multidimensional technology. Make prayers for yourself and others and the planet. Visualize and immerse yourself in the experience you want to be having. Yes, love from the Source that you are. YES, YOU ARE A CREATOR. Thank you!
AND. Every creator, every artist has a medium. There's the inspiration, the dreaming and ideas, the inner creative process... and there are the tools, the medium, the manifest reality. Your primary medium here on planet Earth, Creator, is the human form in which you live: body, thoughts, feelings, choices, words, actions. Is your manifest creation like a spilled can of paint, or is it an intentionally crafted, regularly refined, living, evolving piece of art? Have you learned how to use your tools?
Go ahead and get dog shit real.
Learn and practice actual communication skills instead of harboring resentment, feeling superior, exploding, blaming, or keeping quiet and making up stories about what's happening - your relationships will be so much more satisfying, deep and connected. Feel and allow the full range of your human feelings, instead of avoiding them; your system will clear and become like rich, fertile soil instead of being stagnate and restricted - and the true joy you long for will be that much greater. Acknowledge and be accountable for the ways you hurt yourself and others; the truth will liberate your heart. Slow way, WAY down and develop trust, presence, reverence, communication and play in bed; your sexual healing will unfold. Embrace the human form you've taken. Care for it in every way, from all aspects of your beingness. Take risks. Be courageous. This life is yours to design. You are the artist.
And if you've taken up residence outside your space suit because it's just so dense and mucky to work with... please, come back to this good Earth. Ground.
You are wanted and needed here, in your fullest expression of self.
You can have it all, Friend. You are Divine, Incarnate. Built for a life of radiance, inside and out. Rooted and soaring. Awake, expanded, connected, activated, alive. You can do it. I believe in you. I'm here to help.
I love you.
* Thank you, Carla, for the phrase dog shit real. It's perfect. Of course. *
Balance: Self Care / Service
Give-receive-give-receive really boils down to BE, and be fully, and be aware of being. I'm grateful to continually learn about and harness my divine/human technology, to be able to hone in and pursue mastery, to better serve.
I've been offering energy healing since 2004. I learned Hakomi (mindfulness-based, somatic, experiential psychotherapy) in 2012-2014, and brought that work into my practice in 2015. I also became a guide and practitioner in the shamanic realms in 2014. And now here we are in 2021. After 17 years of active service, I'm still and always deepening into the Way. I love this amazing life.
I'm here for you.
What's Love Got To Do With It?
A decade ago, it was hard for me to admit that the main "tool" I used in my work was love. I spent a long time and a lot of money learning things and gaining skills - I'm always learning. I'm glad I have those methods and techniques in my toolkit, for sure... but it is still true that the most potent piece of what I offer my clients is love.
I know no better medicine.
Being in this kind of love can bring a sense of relief. It can open your heart. It can evoke love in you. It might make you cry. It can gently help reveal where and why your heart's been closed.
Being in love can be a very tender experience. You might feel exposed, truly seen for the first time. It can feel like too much... but also like the very thing you long for.
All of this is held in a field of love.
It might bring utter exhaustion - or it might energize you - if you've been holding tight to resistance or protection, and you finally surrender. It can bring feelings, when before there were none. It can make space for grief that's been held back. It can bring forgiveness. Compassion. Aliveness.
It can be deeply nourishing. Being in a field of love can help you know it's ok to be exactly as you are.
This is what clients have told me.
If you're working on some things and you want help, I'm here for you.
When I left Portland's coffee shop culture and moved to the outdoor rec mecca of Bend, it was hard to get used to going for a hike or a ski as a way to "connect" with my new friends. My attention splits, half with the person, half with the movement. It's hard to go deeper than mind activity. I know amazing people and often come away with something new to think about - but I don't get to receive new input and truly integrate it in the moment. For me, that requires spaciousness. Mindfulness. Presence.
When I'm with someone I trust, I will consciously open my system to receive the vibration they offer. It doesn't just happen; there's a technique to it. It can take friends and practitioners a while to get used to my pacing...
because there's often a big pause while I allow cellular shifts, hang out in new neural pathways, tune my chakras...
before I speak again from a new me.
Clients regularly tell me it's a relief to their hearts and nervous systems, to finally experience real presence, spaciousness and lovingness. It allows you to simply be, and to allow whatever needs tending to emerge.
I don't offer opinions, lessons or advice. What I drop into the space is a reflection of your own truth. It's my gift to see - with lovingness, without judgment - your stuckness, your unhelpful learned beliefs, and to see all the way to your truth, to voice something you may not have embodied in a very long time (or ever)... and so, it's actually YOUR TRUTH that's calling you into alignment. YOU who reminds you who you are. You who remembers.
From there, I help you to experience the transformational effect of your truth as it unfolds throughout your entire being, moment by moment, body-mind-energy-spirit, while holding you in a field of light-filled resonance and loving awareness.
People say it feels like magic. I call it experiential healing.
I'm feeling humbled by the power of this work, just thinking about it.
There are two spots available in Come Home, Woman: a life-changing series of private sessions. Schedule a consultation on the Work With Me / Come Home, Woman page to see if it's right for you.
I love you.
I dropped into full presence within an hour of being on the river. Its familiar curves welcomed us back for our annual 6-day float, just me and my beloved, no cell service, for our favorite thing: deep canyon solitude and spaciousness in which to rest in the rhythm of Us.
The first few days were cold. Cloudy. Windy. With a little rain. I shivered, splashed and goosebumpy, through the first rapid while Peter steered us downstream. He says: You're tough. I say: What do you mean? He says: You're not complaining. I say: What is there to complain about?
I hear whispers of Spirit calling me into ceremony, and I'm grateful. I am a healer, devoted to being in service... and I know that this time of my own tending is woven into the path. It's been a while since I received at this level. The riffles in my system come into view so I can see what's been stuck and needs healing. With deepest gratitude for my vulnerability, patience and trust, I use intuition and technique, moving with the soul's fascination, resting in the infinite generosity and compassion of Source. It's light work (cute, eh? Lightwork.) and finds completion easily.
Six days of childlike delight. Doglike presence. Complete relaxation. Deep sleep. A profound awareness of Earth's web. Laughter and playfulness, reverence and irreverence, curiosity and lovemaking. Stillness, slowness, and so much silence. A sacred riverprayer.
I am so grateful to be, and to be returning to my clients, renewed. Thank you, river. Thank you, life. I love you.
Create with Love
Every 80 to 100 days, 30 trillion of your cells will have replenished - the equivalent of a new you. Science tells us that we affect the physical with our thoughts and intentions. So... which thoughts and feelings are you using as your tools of creation?
One option is to run a program of fear. Something pops up - like Covid - and there's an opportunity to allow fear to become the lens through which you see all of life. At a certain point, the fear lessens its grip - a vaccine comes out. Everything starts to feel better... but uh-oh, what if the vaccine is harmful? Yikes! And the opportunity to operate from fear begins anew. It snowballs, collecting things like "I'm not good enough" and "I can't" and "it's too late."
Or you can delete that program. Fear is not who you are, Friend.
You are and have always been made of love. You brought Source into this human body on this planet. You are love, embodied.
Every cell in your body is affected by your thoughts and feelings - brilliant! And you have free will, which allows you to choose where you place your focus. It has never been more obvious than in this time of extremes that what you focus on becomes your reality.
You can stop running the fear program through your system. Turn your face to the sun - literally and figuratively. Let that power source, that light, fuel your beautiful heart into its natural state. Sometimes we forget we have the ability to make these shifts, but I'm here to tell you: You DO. You always have.
So breathe it in, beloved. Let love be your only creative tool. You are good enough. You can. There is only now.
I'm here to help if you need it. I love you.
* COME HOME, WOMAN is an experiential path that will support your current healing and conscious expansion. Together we'll navigate your inner world, honoring and releasing what stands in the way of your felt experience of wholeness. You are meant to live as an empowered, sovereign being - in love with yourself and with life, trusting your heart's voice and following her guidance. Early bird sign-ups are happening, and there are still six spots left - I'll be officially announcing this offering on 4/27. Click here to schedule a consultation.
Consciousness is coming online for you like doors opening to multiple new worlds you now inhabit. Sometimes it shows up in expanding pieces of awareness that work in concert, even as they hover right at the edge of your understanding. Everything is woven together perfectly. Thank you for your trust.
You might witness yourself navigating new inner territory. Perhaps you notice you're using your old tools of creation - like harboring resentment, or brushing complex feelings under the rug rather than being with them, or judging yourself or others, or resisting what you know in your heart is right. You can now heal these betrayals and fractures within yourself and with others, loving yourself as you come into alignment. You no longer need to allow dis-ease to linger. It is safe to tend and love yourself. Thank you for learning to live at these deepest levels of integrity.
It's truly called for, here in the Spring of 2021. New understandings of our current global experience are available for you to receive and integrate. It can feel like a sudden clearing of fog. It can be disorienting. It's ok. Just breathe. Feel into your heart and let it lead. You know what is right for you. It is time to cultivate and demonstrate a profound respect for autonomy - yours and others'.
You have the opportunity to embody love and compassion. You are the creator of your reality; thank you for choosing your tools of creation with care.
You are the light of pure consciousness.
And you, dear human, are loved.
Thank you, thank you for being.
Bowing deeply to your heart,
A client recently told me she just doesn't feel the spiritual connection she used to feel, and she wants it back. She had a major opening a couple years ago and found herself blasted into 5D full time. Within a year, she swung to the opposite extreme - she felt completely disconnected, her vision shrank, she couldn't hear her intuition, and she stopped caring about all the “spiritual” things she’d started doing. She moved into a painful slump, wondering what happened? Where did it all go, and how do I get it back?
Sound familiar? This is such a common experience - particularly if the catalyst for your high-speed awakening was a peak experience such as a physical healing, a sudden release of held trauma, a Kundalini awakening, or a plant medicine journey. There are countless peak experiences that can blast you farther outside your egoic self than you've ever been and give you a sublime taste of Truth that can last a long while. It's easy to become attached to that elevated state and the extrasensory perception it may induce. It's natural, over time, to return to a more planet-bound, familiar You. It's normal to wonder if you'll ever "get it back." Normal to judge or blame yourself for doing something wrong (you didn't). Normal to think you can't "be like that" unless you're in those peak experiences (you can). All completely normal and so very common.
Thing is, we aren't meant to exist in peak experiences all the time. That's why they're called "peak" experiences and not "normal" experiences. There's an ebb and flow to life. Life breathes. It has seasons of creation, manifestation, integration and rest. Cultivating trust in the ebb and flow of life is a practice. And sometimes, the practice itself becomes the experience of connection you thought you'd lost.
Peak experiences require a period of mindful integration. A therapist or a practitioner like me can help with that - someone with whom you can share your full experience, without fear of judgment. Journaling can help. Meditation can help. Making a sovereign decision to maintain your relationship with Spirit - and then actually doing it - is key. (No one's going to do it for you.)
The practice of tending the Divine within can completely change your experience of life - because life goes on after the peak experience, right? You still have to learn communication skills to create healthy relationships. Your body still gets sick, gets hurt, eventually dies. You still feel all the feelings. When you live in relationship with spirit, there's a balance and a loving acceptance that becomes a glowing through-line to all the ups and downs... and you begin to realize you're cultivating the spirituality you always wanted.
Life requires tending before and after enlightenment.
I used to hear the word "discipline" and think of being punished, or like it meant I was being made to do something I didn't want to do. Just hearing the word made me feel resentful and rebellious. At this point in life, my discipline is a combination of devotion and commitment. It feels beautiful - a shining thing. It is my devotion to a life lived with Spirit and my commitment to tending that relationship - which ultimately is a relationship with myself.
And peak experiences - yes! May I gently integrate all I'm ready to bring into the world.
And hello, flow. Inhale.
Hello, ebb. Exhale.
Hello, life. I get to chop wood, carry water again.
Yes, how perfect, thank you, I love you.
I was recently guided to create a one-on-one healing container for women called Divine Incarnate Integration. This container supports you, whether you've had a peak experience or not, to bring spirit into your life. The entrance to the container is a very real threshold. Inside: alchemy. Tending. Being. Healing. Honoring. Remembering. Awakening your spirituality, and enlisting your divine self, in service to your personal healing and evolution. I just opened my schedule for two more of these high vibration healing containers. If you want to join me here, please schedule a free consultation.
The Gift of True Presence
I recently had a coffee date with one of my best friends. I was sharing about something that's up for me, when I became keenly aware that she was tending my heart just right. She was still. She held me gently and truly in her gaze. She didn't interrupt, didn't try to fix anything, only offered a space of lovingness. I felt truly seen and cared for, and it brought tears to my eyes - and then to hers - as I interrupted myself to appreciate the gift of her presence. Phew, I really needed that.
There's something truly healing about being held in a space of lovingness and acceptance. We aren't always given that kind of space. Very often, listeners are judgmental or distracted, or they have an agenda for fixing something they see as being wrong - which can hinder or redirect an authentic process. If nothing else, it sure doesn't feel good when the person isn't really with you.
When we're held in loving presence, it's possible to just be. It is a field of clear, high vibration. Here, it's ok to be whoever and however you are. Here, the heart can truly be honored. Here, space is made for your experience to unfold. This is the foundation of all my work: You are welcome here.